Kaposvar, Hungary - July 3-July 9 1977
I found it interesting that her daughter and one of her sons (the only ones with family names) had recurring nightmares as children. Mr.Hayashida also talked about something of a curse.. Could this be the same type of thing? They also say that the disposition of a child is somewhat determined by the state of the mother during those 9 months before birth -- Surely Jutka was stressed.. Could this have also lead to their nightmares?
I know how strong Jutka is, but I still found it amazing that she was able to go back there and laugh with friends about old times, walk the streets without weeping incessantly, and walk through the homes of the friends and family she once adored and know that essentially nothing remained of their possessions or personal touches that had added to the house it once was. I found it interesting how that one song being played in a restaurant set off that internal tumult, as if attending her father's funeral. She has seen so much death and yet the memory of her Papa still brings so much pain to her heart.
Another thing that I've noticed about this book is that they think of family in a much different way than we do now. They died for eachother, protected one another, and did everything that was possible to keep eachother going. That entire family, and most of the families around them, were completely selfless, and that's a beautiful thing. Most of this generation can not look eachother in the face and say that they would die for their mother, brother, sister, uncle, even a grandparent's safety. We would probably say that we would try to help them, but how does that compare to what Jutka and her family did on a daily basis. They risked everything they had just to get a better meal that day. They would barter off bits of bread to make someone's outfit look or feel more like it would have at home. A lot of us don't know that kind of selfless giving, and probably won't until something ultimately changes our lives so dramatically that anything even remotely negative towards those we love will seem totally foreign. We as a nation, and a generation, need to treasure those around us and take nothing for granted. Whether or not this will happen remains to be seen, but I'm looking forward to a day when I can honestly say that I am one of those people, without having any reserves. It will be a remarkable day when someone in power can say that as well.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Chapter 13 - My American Captain
Leipzig, Germany - May 15- July 3, 1945
Aww! I didn't think I'd like Ike at first, but he turned out to be super sweet and caring and affectionate and aww... It will be good for Jutka to not have to worry about death or starvation or anything that doesn't involve being happy for a while now. I know that she won't be able to forget what has happened in the past couple of years, but it won't be at the forefront of her mind anymore. Peti probably wasn't going to work out in the long run, anyways. He was a platonic love interest, kept in Jutka's mind only by his poetry, which she no longer recieved in the camps. She probably used his image and the idea of his love to get her through some situations, but I don't believe that he had much other influence on her life.
Go Ike <3
Aww! I didn't think I'd like Ike at first, but he turned out to be super sweet and caring and affectionate and aww... It will be good for Jutka to not have to worry about death or starvation or anything that doesn't involve being happy for a while now. I know that she won't be able to forget what has happened in the past couple of years, but it won't be at the forefront of her mind anymore. Peti probably wasn't going to work out in the long run, anyways. He was a platonic love interest, kept in Jutka's mind only by his poetry, which she no longer recieved in the camps. She probably used his image and the idea of his love to get her through some situations, but I don't believe that he had much other influence on her life.
Go Ike <3
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Chapter 12 - Liberation in Leipzig
Leipzig, Germany - Spring 1945
So the Americans have freed them from their latest prison, but they're not quite out of the hole yet. It's just their luck that as soon as they find some real food, the stomachs that have sustained themselves on mere scraps for months can no longer tolerate such rich morsels.
I was also mildly surprised that the liberated actually raided a factory. I guess that I suspected the camps would have instilled a near permanent sense of... almost humbleness, but not quite. More like helplessness. Or maybe it was just that sheer need to survive. At least some of the scavengers found new clothing. It was well deserved.
So the Americans have freed them from their latest prison, but they're not quite out of the hole yet. It's just their luck that as soon as they find some real food, the stomachs that have sustained themselves on mere scraps for months can no longer tolerate such rich morsels.
I was also mildly surprised that the liberated actually raided a factory. I guess that I suspected the camps would have instilled a near permanent sense of... almost humbleness, but not quite. More like helplessness. Or maybe it was just that sheer need to survive. At least some of the scavengers found new clothing. It was well deserved.
Chapter 11 - Seed of Sarah
Hessisch Lichtenau and Weimar, Germany - 1944-45
Ah, resourcefulness was just mentioned in class. Mama and Magdar have been risking so much to help feed eachother... And you know they're starving when Jutka ends up digging through trash and becoming greedy for a moldy carrot. It's things like this that make me wonder if I would be able to live like that... I suppose that if I were starving in a camp like that, I would be digging through trash just as she was, but it's a difficult thought.
The guards are very bitter people. You would think that if they were carrying out what they thought to be "right," then they would be a bit happier. But no, they feel the need to go on rants about how these poor women will never see a man again, never have sex, etc. Was she jealous of their prospects? (kidding...) Jutka was just standing there thinking, and she automatically gets accused of lusting for a man she's never had more than a breif conversation with. These guards pretend that they have control over every aspect of these soul's lives, but in reality, they just control what they eat (to some degree) and where they work. No matter how hard they may try, they will never control their thoughts, their will, or their bonds with eachother. That broken family of three has done everything they thought possible to keep eachother alive, and have come out successful.
Even on their way to a new camp, they sit together and exchange recipes. They might never be able to use those recipes, or even see something of that sort again in some cases, but that's how they make conversation and entertain themselves without losing their sanity as so many before them have.
Ah, resourcefulness was just mentioned in class. Mama and Magdar have been risking so much to help feed eachother... And you know they're starving when Jutka ends up digging through trash and becoming greedy for a moldy carrot. It's things like this that make me wonder if I would be able to live like that... I suppose that if I were starving in a camp like that, I would be digging through trash just as she was, but it's a difficult thought.
The guards are very bitter people. You would think that if they were carrying out what they thought to be "right," then they would be a bit happier. But no, they feel the need to go on rants about how these poor women will never see a man again, never have sex, etc. Was she jealous of their prospects? (kidding...) Jutka was just standing there thinking, and she automatically gets accused of lusting for a man she's never had more than a breif conversation with. These guards pretend that they have control over every aspect of these soul's lives, but in reality, they just control what they eat (to some degree) and where they work. No matter how hard they may try, they will never control their thoughts, their will, or their bonds with eachother. That broken family of three has done everything they thought possible to keep eachother alive, and have come out successful.
Even on their way to a new camp, they sit together and exchange recipes. They might never be able to use those recipes, or even see something of that sort again in some cases, but that's how they make conversation and entertain themselves without losing their sanity as so many before them have.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Chapter 10 - Options
Hessisch Lichtenau, Germany - Autumn 1944
I can see where she had assumed that rape was in store for her, what with the news from the Russian front and the rumors of concumbines floating around. I fully agree with a statement that she made before discovering this, though, because it emphasizes that rape is not a new addition to war, or to history in general, in any way. "'My plight is not unique,' I told myself, 'I'm caught in an ancient rite of sex and war.'" (pg 90). She again shows how brave she can be by not giving in before stepping into the house, by looking the woman in the eye and listening to her orders before realizing what "clean girl" meant. She is still a young woman and yet she is one of the bravest of the lot. I find it hard not to admire her character and perserverance.
It seems that the kapo has been looking out for them as of late. Judit doesn't really explain how she knows certain things, but she saved all three of them from imminent death. Why couldn't they have set Magdar's finger instead of cutting it off? she might have still had use of it when it healed... maybe...
I can see where she had assumed that rape was in store for her, what with the news from the Russian front and the rumors of concumbines floating around. I fully agree with a statement that she made before discovering this, though, because it emphasizes that rape is not a new addition to war, or to history in general, in any way. "'My plight is not unique,' I told myself, 'I'm caught in an ancient rite of sex and war.'" (pg 90). She again shows how brave she can be by not giving in before stepping into the house, by looking the woman in the eye and listening to her orders before realizing what "clean girl" meant. She is still a young woman and yet she is one of the bravest of the lot. I find it hard not to admire her character and perserverance.
It seems that the kapo has been looking out for them as of late. Judit doesn't really explain how she knows certain things, but she saved all three of them from imminent death. Why couldn't they have set Magdar's finger instead of cutting it off? she might have still had use of it when it healed... maybe...
Chapter 9 - Alone With the Kommandant
Hessisch Lichtenau, Germany - August 1944
Oooh.... so she and her aunt and mother all snuck onto the laborer's train. It's interesting how learned helplessness seeps into every aspect of their lives and thinking. This group of people, once living in houses such as those they saw, are now awestruck by the sheer thought of even residing in a house, sleeping on a bed, and having privacy.
Judit has to have the worst luck of any person I have ever read about. Death would have been an easy(-ier) escape than what she is faced with now. How could she even continue walking, knowing what lay ahead of her? Maybe if she had collapsed on the ground he would have spared her in some way... I don't know, I just know that this probably won't end well.
Oooh.... so she and her aunt and mother all snuck onto the laborer's train. It's interesting how learned helplessness seeps into every aspect of their lives and thinking. This group of people, once living in houses such as those they saw, are now awestruck by the sheer thought of even residing in a house, sleeping on a bed, and having privacy.
Judit has to have the worst luck of any person I have ever read about. Death would have been an easy(-ier) escape than what she is faced with now. How could she even continue walking, knowing what lay ahead of her? Maybe if she had collapsed on the ground he would have spared her in some way... I don't know, I just know that this probably won't end well.
Chapter 8 - Stay Together!
Auschwitz-Birkenau, Poland - July 1944
Such an act of rebellion! She was right to avoid the transport at all costs, and I'm glad that she had the courage to do so. I'm just wondering how her mother escaped? And where did they go after avoiding gunpoint? They just seemed to plop down in some location and sigh in relief. I suppose they'll expand on this next chapter, but I thought I'd say something about it now.
Such an act of rebellion! She was right to avoid the transport at all costs, and I'm glad that she had the courage to do so. I'm just wondering how her mother escaped? And where did they go after avoiding gunpoint? They just seemed to plop down in some location and sigh in relief. I suppose they'll expand on this next chapter, but I thought I'd say something about it now.
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